Hillary - Dad's twin

This is a photo, courtesy of Vallerie's facebook profile, of Mom and Dad at Uncle Bruce's wedding. Could Hillary look ANYMORE like Dad? Wow! Practically twins.

Thinking about Dad

I was watching this documentary on the Irish in America and I saw some guys with long mustaches - reminded me of Dad when his mustache was like that. As I got to think about Dad I was remembering the time he came to my apt. with Dawn and Hillary to fix up Jazzmin's bedroom. At one point Dad and I went to the corner store to get beer (so unlike Dad, I know). What struck me that day was how the guy at the counter benevolently treated Dad like an old man. It startled me at that moment because I had never once thought of Dad as old or had I ever witnessed anybody treated him as old. It was just weird. Part of me felt bad to witness that - I imagine everybody wrestles with the concept of going from a regular adult to people starting to treat you as a geriatric. I felt bad because I wonder how it must've made Dad feel to transition into being looked at in that way. Dad didn't appear to mind being treated like an old man by the counter guy though.
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Father's Day Poem by Tami Blackwell

Give 'em a hug, a great big kiss.

Because one day, he will be greatly missed.

My daddy has gone far away from this land,
I miss the precious touch of his loving hands.

I never knew last year was the last day,
I could look at my daddy, hug him, and say:
"I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!"

Don't let one day go by without telling him
how dear he is!
Remember you may not have another year to tell him this!

All I have now is great memories,
a heartfull of love and eyes full of tears, and
to remember his love throughout the years.

Now I will have to look up at the stars and
say, "I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!"
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Missing Dad

I really miss Dad today. It sounds stupid but I saw somebody at my job whose eyes looked a lot like Dad's eyes to me and it got me upset.

It was like the time I smelt Shalimar perfume (Mom's favorite 'pricey' perfume) one time not long after Mom died. I smelt it and for a split second my mind forgot she was dead and I fully expected her to be there when I turned around. But just as quickly I remembered she was gone.

It's still so hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never see him again.

I don't really want to write anymore about it because I don't want to lose my composure at work. But I just wanted to mention that he was on my mind.
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Happy Birthday Dad!

Dad,

You're not here on earth and are now an angel in heaven. Never-the-less, even though you're not physically here - this day is no less special or happy. We are all happy that 71 years ago today this great guy, David G. Holloway, was born. And we are grateful for the time God let us spend with him.

But all is not lost, we will see you again in heaven one day. In the meantime, we know you're always here with us in spirit.

Genjer loves her Dad! (shoulder squeeze)
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For Birthday 71... Thinking about Dad

This is the poem I read at Dad's memorial - I was lucky to find this one as it fits Dad.

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubt I should ever comeback.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the road less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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Spiderwick Chronicles

I went to see "The Spiderwick Chronicles" today with Jazzmin. It's a fantasy movie for kids which came from a popular book. The basis of the story is this boy's great great uncle discovered all the secrets of this other realm of fairies, goblins and the like and chronicled it's secrets in this book. The great great uncle got taken away by some fairies (or other) and leaves the book behind. His daughter spent her whole life in that house until they finally sent her to the funny farm at age 86. She was sent there because they thought she was crazy for believing in this other realm. That's when the boy and his family end up moving into her house and discovering all the secrets.

It really was a great story about the kids navigating the magical world and how to keep the chronicle from the 'bad guy'. At the very end the great aunt's (daughter of great great uncle) dad shows up (who hasn't seen her dad in 80 years). The fairies allowed him to come back for a moment since the book was safe again but he had to go back to where he was 'trapped' all these years. If he tried to enter present time he would turn to dust. After being caught up in the movie you feel happy for the 86 year old woman who finally gets to see her dad, whom she hasn't seen since she was 6. She asks her dad a favor and to take her with him this time - so he does. When he takes her hand she transforms back into a 6 year old and goes off with her dad.

At the very moment the 86 year old women's dad showed up I started to get emotional. At first because of the story and thought it was great she got to see her dad after all this time. And then it suddenly hit me that I wish I could see my dad again. If I hadn't been in a public place I prodably would've cried my 'eyes out' right then and there. As it was I had to do my best to hold back the tears. The whole way home was just a constant effort to not start balling. Thankfully, Jazzmin knows how to deal with me when I'm upset and just left me alone. She didn't say one word - this from a girl who chats on endlessly in a normal set of circumstances. I had to hold my scarf over my eyes most of the way home to try and stop from crying. Halfway through the trip home I had to really go the bathroom - so I was able to focus on that instead of thinking about being upset.

Well, anyway, it was a really good movie. Perhaps not as good as the book - as know it alls are prone to say. But you can only fit but so much in the time frame allotted for a movie. Jazzmin and I really enjoyed it and found it to be one of the few movies worth the price of admition instead of waiting for it to come out on DVD.

I miss Dad...

Still hard to accept I'm not going to see him again...

Songs That Remind Me of Mom & Dad

I was thinking about Dad this weekend. I carry his license in my inside pocket of my coat. I was also thinking about the 2 songs that make me think of how sad the loss of my (our) parents is. The one that makes me think of Mom is Phil Collins' song "Against All Odds". It was in rotation on Mtv the summer after she died when I was staying at Brenda's house. I instantly cry whenever I hear this song - even to this day. I know the song is about a love triangle - but if you think of it in terms of someone you love dieing it truly encompasses how I feel about losing Mom.

PHIL COLLINS - "AGAINST ALL ODDS"



The song that makes me think of, I guess, how I feel about the loss of Dad is probably an odd choice. It's "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd. I've never seen "The Wall" but ever since I heard it when I was a kid I've always felt it to be the saddest, loneliest song. I know what it's supposed to be about but I've imposed my own interpretation to it (as I did with the "Against All Odds" song). My reaction to it has less to do with the specific lyrics then the over all tone and feeling conveyed.

PINK FLOYD - "COMFORTABLY NUMB"


I miss them both very much.